And so it begins....

Ok, DH had an episode on Sunday. He ate breakfast, gave himself insulin, then at church he dosed again because he was 249. Well, we came home for lunch and he had to leave after dropping us off for a service call. I wasn't 100% sure where in Woodmont area in Nashville he was. What should have taken a few minutes stretched out. I got worried two hours later, and called.

Six calls, one text from his son later, I leave heading to Woodmont, hoping to find him before it's too late. On the way there, the Medical Center from Manchester - 1 hr south of home, calls and has DH there.

He had passed the exit and was found by a state trooper.

I am tired. I am feeling like a nurse maid, not a spouse. I am empty. Life is - he's doing his thing...I do mine. I am having a hard time in doing that.

Friday of last week we were all excited about going to a football game. Until we have a behavior problem with Caleb, and it was decided that we weren't going. Ron slept.

I got a cat from a friend at work on Saturday - free to good home.

Sunday - that happened. BTW, his sugar was 12! For the past week when I get a call from a local area code either at work or on my cell, my shoulders stiffen, my stomach churns...I feel like crap.

He's just a zombie. Sleep, eat, work. I see his eyelid, quick kiss in the morning before he leaves and that's it.

If he really cares, wouldn't he "get it" - I guess.

DH called me....I told him Mom and Dad are in FL. I was thinking about going up to their house to stay for the wkend. DH said why, I said "to think". DH didn't even fight for me to not go. Or ask why go...why not work it out.

I said - yelled "Why aren't you fighting for me?!" "You fought for your ex"...which he did...I guess I am just feeling not worth it? Did the ex mean more to you?" Then his other phone rang. He had to go and answer it.

I feel alone all over again.