The dash that matters.

Over the past two years I have done in-depth soul searching, growth and have allowed God to do some much needed pruning. We recently had a Sunday School lesson on pruning as it refers to our spiritual growth. It's never easy, but it has to be done in order for us not to just be productive but more fruitful in our walk.

I have had some issues that I have had to remove from my life. The major issue would be allowing myself to be manipulated or controlled by others. My DH has really encouraged me-my cheerleader, to seek out wise counsel and mentors to walk with me as I regain my back bone. Past relationship(s) had chipped away at a spirit that was once outwardly creative and passionate. I was far from timid. But as years past, I had allowed that chipping away to break my spirit. The worst part is that I had begun to pass that timid, meek spirit on to my children. Most of all to my daughter.

I had also battled with thinking for myself. I had begun, instead, to simply coast along just going as the crowd did. It did not good for me to pick places to eat, movies to see...for my opinion use not to matter. Now, DH gets pretty ticked if I don't stand on my own two feet and put up my "buck fifty instead of two cents worth". My opinion matters. My thoughts, dreams, wishes are important and are valid! My daughter has a long road ahead of her if she desires others to tell her how to think. It's not just someone else opinion but she holds others thoughts as her own. "Yep, those pants look great, but it's YOU who have to wear them. You don't like them then SAY SO!"

It's about realizing who I am in Christ. It doesn't stop there. I also am coming to realize WHOSE I am. It was easy for me to know, feel, and understand that I was loved by God. The fact that His Son died such an agonizing death in the most humiliating way - the cross shows that! My hang up is that I am valued by God. That I mean something and that I have a specific purpose that no one else is created for. THAT'S what we all have - value & purpose. This is the slowest lesson I have ever had to learn because it means un-learning what has been forced into my mind for 10+ years previously. I'm not looking back because this new journey is exciting! I am finding who the REAL Kris is! I am seeing what I am made of. Yes, it's scary but what part of growth, true growth isn't.